Monday, April 2, 2012

Frustrated Mommy

(Long post warning!!!) 

No one ever tells you that being a parent is very, very, very hard work.  Yeah, you know that it is not going to be a piece of cake going in and you know about all the common things like….

When they are a teenager they will talk back (actually…this statement is a LIE!!!!  It starts waaaaaaay before they hit 13.)

They will bicker with each other.

They won’t keep their rooms clean.

They will fib to you.

They will even forge your signature on tests (even though this can happen way before you think it will…been there done that!  You’ve been warned.).

These are the things that I kinda expected somewhere down the road and I feel like I have mentally prepared myself for b/c of course I was the type that when I hit 14 or so I talked back….alot, I forged mom’s signature on a few papers as a teen, and my brother’s and I definitely had our days of bickering.  My mom also went in my room while I was at school and took all the dirty dishes and left them either on my bed or the center of my room so I was forced to deal with them. 

But it’s the other things I’m not prepared for.

Like trying to raise two decent, good people with manners, respect for others, and knowing the difference between right and wrong.  Two people with BIG hearts.  Two people who will follow their dreams, be creative and have imaginations that are bigger than life.


Two people who are not going to go into adulthood wondering where I’m at to clean up after them.  To tell them exactly which cup I’m referring to when I tell them to get them off the table. And not only that, but to be specific and tell them that they don’t just get to put the cup on the counter next to the sink, but that it actually has to be rinsed, and placed in the dishwasher (and if the dishwasher is full of clean dishes, empty the darn thing!!)

My kids are 8 and 12 for crying out loud.

Is the above really still a necessary step???

Therefore, when I say to take out the trash, I shouldn’t hafta hold a 12 year old’s hand and point to each trash can in the house telling him that that specific can needs to be emptied into a garbage bag and then take his hand and walk him thru the garage to the outside garbage cans to dump it.

And this is the point where I feel like I’m at right now.  Like if I don’t follow them around, make sure that the chore is done correctly, that they bulldoze me into thinking that it’s done and later I find out that it’s not and make that huge mommy error and (gasp!)…..just do it myself.

I know.  Rule number one in having neat children that pick after themselves has been broken.  I get tired of looking at it and feel that it’s just easier to do it my own damn self.


Ya see, unfortunately I work. 

And when I say unfortunately, I mean UNFORTUNATELY!!! 

But right now there is nothing that I can do about that. 

So is it too much to ask (aka scream and yell) to get a lil help from the kids?

To ask them to clean up after themselves?

To take care of their own messes?

You might be wondering why after months of not blogging anything at all, much less something fun and crafty, or something incredibly yummy that I have baked, I’d choose this subject matter.


…this a.m. when I went out on the front porch to watch the kids get on the school bus, I noticed a bat  bag on one of the rocking chairs, one rocking chair completely outta place, a pair of crocs in front of the front door, outdoor pillows on the porch, bella’s shoes in front of the swing, three baseball bats in the yard by the porch, a T-Ball T in the yard, a baseball glove in the yard, a popsicle stick and wrapper on the window ledge, a pair of Bella’s flip flops on the walk way, and a bow (as in bow and arrow) on the front porch.

This of course was there only a week after I spent cleaning off the porch and walk way trying to get it to look nice and was done in a matter of two hours b/c the porch wasn’t messy when we got home from Sunday Family Dinner.


So after I saw this and did my lil speech (aka talking sternly) while they walked down the driveway not even acknowledging that I was speaking to them, I wrote this note and left it for them when they get home school:

What else do I do?

I’m tired of screaming.
I’m tired of yelling.
I’m tired of begging for some help from them.
I’m just plain ol tired.

We have done with much success the Manna Family Store. This is an incentive for the kids to do their daily/weekly chores and earn Manna money to be used at the end of the week for purchasing Wii time, computer time, ds time, or to buy lil goodies.

This works.  It does.  But Mommy doesn’t always have time to follow behind the kids to make sure that they did everything correctly or something comes up and the store doesn’t open.

Because again, I work. 

So as much as I have great intentions on keeping up with it, it can be hard.  A lot of times I tell myself to turn off “Downton Abbey” and just give them their Manna  money (if they deserve it) or to open the store, but sometimes I’m just too damn tired.

Because again, I work.

And  because of this, I believe my kids have some how got it in their head that if there is no store, then there are no chores that need to be done.

So it’s this never ending, vicious cycle of frustration, screaming, yelling, crying (me, not the kids), and asking Michael (the hubby) “How in God’s name did we end up creating two pigs who seem to think that I’m their servant, chef, and whipping board???”


I’m just really at my whits end here and don’t know what to do.

So, to get to the whole point of this post, I’m hoping that there are other mommies and daddies out there that have or are experiencing this too because so help me God, if I’m the only one out here dealing with this, I dunno what I’ll do. 

Any other mommies out there that can totally feel my pain?

Can give me some advice?

Can take my kids for a week and send them back like lil militant cleaning machines?

Or at least let me borrow a copy of the parenting handbook that the nurses forgot to give me at the hospital. Email me.  I’ll send you my address and even the money to overnight it.

Disclaimer:  I love my kids very, very much.  I wouldn’t trade them for the world.  Well, maybe I would for cleaner kids ;)


  1. GREAT post! I am going through the exact same thing with our 11 year old. Seriously some days I just want to scream and yell and lock her in her room until she does what she's supposed to do. My husband and I are now assigning her a chore everyday when she gets home from school. I'm toying with an allowance - a base allowance that she gets ONLY if all her chores are done and then she can earn extra allowance by doing additional chores that are not assigned to her. I am still waffling on that one though. I mean she shouldn't get paid to do what she is supposed to be doing to help out in the household. But then I looked at it like - I work full time and I get paid for doing what I'm supposed to be doing so could I structure her chores to be like her "job"???? I don't know - I'm still thinking that one over.

  2. Way to go, mom! I tell our boys the same! And they're 5 and 9!! I'm not your maid. I work from home. And we have a different system set up. They have to earn privileges by hard work and good behavior. Video game and tv time only happens after chores are completed and schoolwork is done. :) We give an allowance each week, BUT only if they've done their chore list without nagging, etc. IF we ever had to pick up the slack, they forfeit the whole allowance for the single infraction. The allowance is a privilege as well! ^_^

  3. (Just came across this post after clicking through your profile from a comment you left on my blog). I feel you, sister! Granted, my kids are only 4 and 5, but I want to be sure I set them on the right path and I question, sometimes, if I am doing it right. I work FT too, so free time is sparse. Keeping the house in order is a challenge. And getting the kiddos to chip in is a primary goal for us. I keep saying I want to start NOW and get some sort of chore chart created, but time always gets the best of me. Last night we had our first instance of being up way past bedtime doing (kindergarten!) homework and it really hit me hard. WHO authorized them coming home from school/daycare and playing out in the yard or watching TV? Oh yeah, we did. *sigh* Guess I'd better come up with that list sooner rather than later, as it sounds like it doesn't get easier as they get older. Love your note, by the way. LOVE.IT. How did it go over?? Hope things are getting better for you! p.s. I'm your newest follower.